Macie Amelia Everts

Macie Amelia Everts was born on November 20th at 12:04pm. She weighed 6lbs 3oz and was 18.5inches long. She was as perfect as I imagined she would be.

Fred gave me a blessing the night before and we then took the boys over to our neighbors house to sleep since we had to be at the hospital at 6am which is way too early for the boys and they don't start school until 7:45am. I'm so thankful Krista said she would watch them and have them sleep the night there.

The whole night before she was born I literally did not sleep at all. I laid in bed for the whole 7 hours straight just having my mind go a mile a minute. I was thinking about actually meeting my daughter. Wondering what she would look like. Would she be healthy or have any problems we couldn't detect in womb? I thought about the fact that I was having surgery yet again. I thought about recovery, breastfeeding etc. So by the time my alarm went off at 4:45am to get ready I was already up. When Fred woke up and said, "You're not pressing snooze for even 5 minutes?" I just lost it. I immediately cried telling him I hadn't slept at all and had now been up for more than 30 hours. I was already dead tired. I got in the shower and Fred must have heard me crying because he opened the shower door to see if I was okay. I wasn't. I was having a full on melt down. I didn't want to do this again. I didn't want to have surgery. I didn't want to breastfeed, wake up in the night multiple times... I didn't want to do any of it. I think the nerves got the best of me and mostly I was just scared to have major surgery yet again. I just didn't want to do it. I hate the recovery time, I hate every part about it. Fred was so sweet with me and tried to help me to see the positive. I wasn't going to be pregnant anymore, no more contractions or pregnancy pains and it'll all be over soon. I don't know what I'd do without him.

After my meltdown, I finished getting ready, then we were off. It's such a surreal feeling knowing you're driving someplace to go have a baby. That in just a few hours, you're going to be holding what is sitting in your tummy especially when it has been there for so long. I will say at times I miss her sweet kicks. It's just different once they leave you and the safety of your body.

We got to the hospital on time and I got prepped. I had to have my IV inserted 3 times before they got it right. It's big and it always hurts. That wasn't too pleasant. About 15 minutes before my scheduled surgery, we were told we were being pushed back. The lady next to me was in labor but was scheduled for a c-section at a later date. She was dilating quickly so she took priority. That was not fun to hear. We were then taken to what would be my recovery room to wait it all out. That was at 7:15. About 11:30 comes and FINALLY the anesthesiologist comes in to talk to me. I told him how with Caleb I was so itchy for days and it was horrible. I also told him how with Asher I felt a lot of pain and was miserable and cried because I was in so much pain. I said all I wanted to feel was tugging, pulling and being uncomfortable but no pain and no itching after. He said there is a fine line of too much and too little of the spinal and when you get too much you itch. Too little and you feel pain but you don't itch and he would make it so I was comfortable. He was a very nice man who was very helpful in the OR. Then I chatted with my doctor and before I knew it, we were finally ready to go. It ended up that the lady had a VBAC within that hour we were moved because she progressed so quickly and we were then mostly waiting on my doctor to come back since he headed back to his office after the whole ordeal of me being pushed back. It was all very annoying and Fred and I were to restless waiting to meet our baby.

The OR was small. I got my spinal which hurt but wasn't too bad. The doctor held my shoulders and hands which was nice and comforting. Immediately after I started to go numb and I was laid down. The curtain was pulled up and Fred walked in. I instantly got teary eyed when he came to sit by me. I am so glad they allow daddies in there. I couldn't have been so calm without him. Of course I cried, mostly because I was getting cut open and I really didn't want to be and knew what lay before me as far as recovery, having a newborn etc. I started to feel tugging, pulling all the usual things and about 10 minutes later they said, "Okay, are you ready to meet your baby? We're about to pull her out!" The anesthesiologist held my head up and I saw her immediately after being pulled out which I never got to do with the boys. I didn't see my body, just her still connected by her cord. It was amazing. I burst into tears and couldn't believe I was actually seeing my little girl for the first time and she truly was a girl! Fred was saying things to me like, "There she is! Look at her, she's beautiful! Good job, Mommy. I love you so much." I told Fred, "She looks like Caleb! And she has my nose!" Fred then went over to her and I started to get put back together. Her cries sounded like little duck quacks. She was so tiny. Fred then brought her over to me and I was able to see her, touch her and talk to her. It was by far my fastest c-section and my most calm. Despite crying and not wanting to get cut open, I was so calm and I could feel the spirit so strong. I thanked my Heavenly Father for such a beautiful healthy baby. Then I just closed my eyes until they finished, feeling so calm, quiet and reflective.

Fred took her back to my recovery room which was across the hall and they waited for me. About 10 minutes later, we were all in the room together and I was holding her, breastfeeding (she latched on instantly and smoothly). I usually am in a recovery room alone while Fred is in the nursery with the baby. I am so happy we all got to be together instantly and I was able to hold and breastfeed her just 10 minutes after surgery. I wish it could have been that way with all the boys too. I started to get itchy on my face so they gave me medicine for it that made me very loopy. I was finally able to sleep a little so Fred did skin to skin. When I woke up I asked him, "So, what do you think for her name?" All along, from the moment she came out, I knew she would be a Macie. She didn't look like a Lily or Amelia. But I still wanted to hear what Fred thought. He said, "I was just sitting here with her thinking that she looks like a Macie." I told him I thought that too and so immediately she was Macie Amelia. The name I came up with ages ago when we found out she was a girl. I just always knew that's what she would be but seeing her really confirmed it. I'm glad Fred thought the same.

That night the boys came to see her and they were all mesmerized. Ethan was fidgety and quiet and a little nervous to touch her. Caleb immediately came up to her and gave her a kiss and started touching her. Asher came up, looked her over, touched her a little then walked away. It was so precious. We asked them what we should name her out of our 3 options (Macie Amelia, Lily Mae or Amelia ???) and they all said Macie (except Ethan wanted Lily Mae). So, we decided as a family that that was her name (even though Fred and I had already decided). My parents, and MIL Kathy were there to see her too. Fred went to dinner with the boys and his mom while my parents stayed with me and continued to visit.

The next day, I woke up to Fred holding Macie and crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing was wrong. It just hit him that he was her Daddy and the weight and responsibility of that finally hit him. He said he just felt this overwhelming sense to protect her and he was just so overcome with all his emotions. It was really sweet and we had a little moment. Watching him hold her with tears in his eyes for his overwhelming love for her was something I'll never forget. Macie is one special girl to have a Daddy as wonderful as hers. Later on that day my MIL and parents came back with the kids after Ethan's basketball game. It was weird to be alone since Fred was gone too (he was coaching for Ethan's team). Krista came to visit and she along with nurses helped with diaper changes since I couldn't get out of bed yet to do that. Macie had to be under the bilirubin lights all day Sunday but was declared cleared early Monday morning. Sunday was hard, only seeing her 30 minutes every 3 hours to feed. We missed her. And I missed the boys.

Monday morning a photographer came to take pictures and Fred was suckered into buying them, even though we didn't buy any with the boys. haha I think it's already begun... Macie having a way with him. He is so in love with her, it's so adorable to see. Monday evening we got home. The first few nights were really rough. Macie was up every 1 1/2 and would nurse forever since she was constantly falling asleep on me. After her doctor visit she was still at 5lbs 11oz (the weight she was when we left the hospital). I was told to either pump and give her a bottle or use a syringe. We decided I would breastfeed her a little, then Fred would give her a bottle while I pump. She's just too little right now to stay awake and it's really tiring for her. At least she is still getting my milk which is most important.

We are all in love with Macie and she is the perfect addition to our family. It is already hitting me a little bit that she will be my last baby. But I'll save those emotions for down the road. 

Macie, we love you more than you will ever know. We are so thankful you chose to come to our family. We waited a long time for you. I cannot express the feelings I felt when I first saw your little face and body. I closed my eyes immediately and thanked my Heavenly Father for sending you to me. I feel so inadequate to be your mother but I promise to do the best I can. You have our hearts and we will cherish you always. Welcome to our family.